Why do you sound like that?; like what?; like a girl, it’s not good; lower your voice; lower; lower; lower; good, it sounds just like mine; as I told you, you do not shout unless you’re in a game or you’re in a fire; you don’t scream in high pitch, those are for homos; sit like a man; do not ever cross-leg and always sit up straight; stand straight as well when you’re walking in public and keep your hands to your pockets; let me see; why are your arms like that?; it looks like you’re holding a skirt; my elbows are deformed, they look like they’re holding a skirt but they’re just like that, sir; that’s not an excuse, you have to force yourself, and what’s with that voice again?; you speak to me like you are flirting with me, you only do that to girls; don’t treat them as your best friends, treat them as potential mates; remember to be shy when in front of them; only treat guys as you’re friends, like me; be in a group of boys in school; like them, you don’t talk in class, you’ll always be reckless in class but you have to keep your grades up; keep your grades up but don’t be an attention whore; don’t ever be a whore, like the ones you like;
is it true that you have Beyoncé and Taylor Swift in your phone?; no; One Direction?; no; good; the last thing I need is to have a son that listens to pop music; kids these days; force yourself to rock bands; don’t sing to broadway; but I like singing to broadway; theatre is not a place for boys; why do you put flowers in your drawings?; draw robots, not roses; play action figures, I’ll buy you tomorrow; as well as balls; I’ll teach you basketball tomorrow after school, but don’t shoot like a girl, especially with arms like that; don’t be too self-conscious like a girl; don’t be a girl; don’t be afraid to show your nipples in public; don’t be afraid to be shirtless, especially when you’re swimming; you always have your shirt on while swimming; after swimming, you let it dry, but don’t wash it; that’s your mother’s job; don’t iron; don’t sweep; don’t dust; don’t cook; a girl’s job is not your job; don’t scrub the toilet clean; shit like a man; always leave a smell; mess up your hair a little bit; never use a comb; never use an umbrella; don’t shave your legs; don’t shave your armpits; don’t shave off your beard; don’t pluck your eyebrows; grow out hair and have muscles; go to the gym, you’ll meet friends there and you’ll meet girls; you’ll get lucky; you don’t have to watch porn everyday and whack off with your hand; taste girls; are you still a virgin?; go out and fuck, but use condoms, you don’t want to have an accidental child blocking your career; someday, you’ll be a boss; the boss; the man on top; no, GOD DAMN IT, not that fucking top!; you’ll be successful and you’ll drive a nice car; you’ll be a man, not a boy anymore; be a man; spit like a man; talk like a man; fuck like a man; shit like a man; drink like a man; punch like a man; kick like a man; like a man; like a man, son; like a man; like a man; we’ll kill you if you don’t act like a man, such a dishonor! Let me.
by Robin Estargo